long distance relationship

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long distance relationship

Post by mr.banker on Wed Mar 25, 2009 10:19 am


10 Ways to Close the Intimacy Gap in a Long Distance Relationship
Intimacy is a key survival ingredient in a long distance relationship. Without that feeling of connectedness, doubts and
dissatisfaction start to emerge and can eventually lead to serious problems. Due to this, it's even more important for
couples in long distance relationships to find ways of keeping that feeling of togetherness. Fortunately, we're here to
help!

Below are 10 ways to help you close the intimacy gap in your relationship. The main goal in presenting these ideas is to
help you and your partner feel more involved in each other's daily lives. You may not actually be there, but you can
definitely make them feel like you're a part of what's going on!

1. Voice Memos
Nothing can bridge the gap like the sound of your partner's voice. Voice memos are one of the easiest and cost effective
ways to achieve this. You can send your partner a voice memo key chain with the words "I love you" on it. You can get
a voice memo photo frame and record "thinking of you always" on it. You can get a personal recorder and just say
random thoughts about your day to your partner and send it to them at the end of the week. Many stuffed animal
companies offer voice recordings inside of the toy. You could say different recordings such as, good night, sweet
dreams, good morning, I love you, and so on. Today's market has so many products available that your options are only
limited by your creativeness.

2. Daily Journal/Blog
Chances are you're pretty Internet savvy if you are in a long distance relationship. If you are, sign up for a free blog
somewhere and send your partner the username and password. Use this tool as a way to frequently communicate with
each other about your daily life and thoughts. If you don't have access to a blog, write a little something about your
day each night. At the end of the week, mail your partner the letters.

3. Web Cam Dates
When you're missing your partner's touch, a web cam date can be the closest remedy available. Frequently arrange a set
time for these dates. Take turns planning on what you'll talk about or do. Some couples have used these as an
opportunity to share a romantic candlelit dinner, watch a movie together or even play games such as Battleship.

4. Shared Moments
Once a day, stop and do the same thing at the exact same time. You could gaze at the stars, say a little prayer for your
partner, send an instant message or take the time to write to each other. Just knowing that you are doing the same
thing, at the same exact moment as your partner, can do wonders towards increasing your intimacy.

5. Let it Grow
A plant is often referenced as a symbol of a growing relationship. Use this symbol in your romance by sending each other
a plant to take care of. As the plant grows, press leaves or flowers to send to each other in your mailings. When the
long distance aspect of your relationship ends, plant them side by side at your new dwelling.

6. Scrapbook of Our Relationship
It often helps to have something to look back on while we are apart. A scrapbook or photo album is a great way to do
this. Whenever you are together take LOTS of pictures. After you separate again collect the pictures and put them in
an album. Write little notes about how you were feeling during the certain times the photographs were taken and tuck
them under or next to the photograph. Make two copies and send one to your partner. Whenever you are feeling lonely,
take out your book and remember all the fun times you've had together.

7. Journal of Love Letters
Couples in long distance relationships are usually faced with more episodes of doubt than the typical relationship. To help
counter this, make sure you are both sending letters to each other, even if by e-mail. Every so often, compile your
communications and put them in a journal format. If you can, send your partner a copy of the journal as well. Now,
whenever those feelings of doubt creep in, make a date with your journal and spend some time reflecting over how well
you've have made it so far.

8. Make it Personal
Send your partner an item of clothing or something personal that they can see or wear daily. It should be something that
you use frequently that will instantly remind them of you. Sometimes it's the littlest things that can make everything feel
all right.

9. Framed Pictures
There's nothing like seeing your partner's beautiful face daily. Let your face be the first thing they see each morning and
the last each night. Make an effort to send framed pictures to your partner whenever possible. I'd try for a new one
each month. You can make it more creative as well by having each picture reflect something about each month. For
example, in December have a picture taken with Santa or in the snow. You can also use each month as an opportunity to
share a moment in your life. Take a picture of you doing something you do every day. Each month pick a new daily task
to take a picture of.

10. The Scent of Love
One of the most effective ways to trigger an emotion is through the use of scent. When sending something to your
partner, spray a bit of your cologne or perfume on it. You can spray things like a pillowcase, a stuffed toy, love letters
or a piece of clothing.

Remember, while long distance relationships aren't easy, they can be the most rewarding. The time and effort you take
to cultivate your intimacy now WILL transfer over into your future time together. The main goal here is to make each
other feel like you are connected and involved in each other's daily life. It is the number one success tip of any long
distance relationship. If you can achieve this, you will be on the right path to a very successful long-term romance.
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Re: long distance relationship

Post by mr.banker on Wed Mar 25, 2009 10:19 am

Handling The Absence

One of the most difficult parts of a long distance or online relationship is handling the fact that you are not physically
there with your partner. This lack of physical presence can make the whole relationship seem like an illusion. I am sure
that almost every person in an LDR has wondered at some point about whether the relationship was actually real or just
wishful thinking. With this in mind, it is very important to create a presence for yourself in your partner's life to provide a
stable reality that you are a couple and that you are a part of one another. Listed below are some ideas and resources
to help you achieve this.

Communication

1. Don't fall out of touch, even for a short time
* Return all e-mails at the earliest opportunity
* If you are going out of town or are otherwise going to be unable to respond, let your partner know as soon as
possible so they don't think something is wrong or start to have doubts.
* Keep all online dates.


2. Talk regularly through voice chat or via the telephone
* Your voice adds that touch of reality to the relationship and makes you more than just text on a screen


3. Video Chat if possible or at least send pictures regularly
* Can you imagine how differently you would feel if you could actually see your partner when you talk to them?
You can bet that they would feel the same. Rather than having to imagine how you looked when you laughed or smiled,
they could actually see it.
* It nullify's any of those doubts you have about whether they will like the way you look.


4. Get to know as much as you can about each other
* Tell your partner about your day to day life, your friends, your relatives, your job etc. Make them feel like they
are an integral part of your life. At the same time, find out as much as you can about them too


5. Be there when needed
* One of the worst mistakes you can make in any relationship is to not be there for your partner when they need
you. This is especially true of a long distance relationship as there are already inherent doubts and this will just reinforce
those doubts.
* Seek your partner's advice, listen to what they say and make them feel special and important to you.

Love
Love is the backbone of any relationship. As long as the other partner feels that you completely and unconditionally love
them, those doubts will not have a chance to creep in. It is up to you to make sure they know exactly how you feel
about them. Some ideas include:

1. Reinforce your affection with poems, stories and love letters
2. Send them care packages, postcards and gifts
3. Create a personalized love craft and send it to them

Presence
Make sure you have a presence in your partner's life. Continually reinforce the fact that you are there, that this
relationship is real and there is no way that you are going to let a little thing like distance get in your way. If you do the
things listed above, you will create a good presence in your relationship. Just to make sure, I have listed below a few
resources to help you. Good luck!

Voice and Video Chat
Online Love Articles
Romantic Ideas
Love Crafts
Love Dedications
Electronic Postcards
Love Poetry
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Re: long distance relationship

Post by mr.banker on Wed Mar 25, 2009 10:19 am

Surviving The Wait
Ways to keep your sanity before you meet...

Anyone in an online relationship will tell you the same thing; the worst thing to handle is the distance and the waiting.
The thoughts going through your head are enough to drive anyone crazy. A person in an online relationship can be
worrying about anything and everything from looking okay to adjusting to a new city or country. So, how do you handle
the little nagging thoughts in your head or the loneliness you feel at night?

1. A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words
Surrounding yourself, and your partner's living space with pictures of each other is a great way to feel each other's
presence. Don't just give each other the one or two token pictures. It isn't enough to give each other a good reality of
who the other person is. Constantly take pictures of yourselves in different settings. Every time you meet, take pictures
of you both together. You'll want to videotape yourself as well. It is a great way for your partner to see the live you
whenever they want.

2. Leave Doubt Out, Plan Your Itinerary Together
A great way to bide the time while you're waiting to see each other is to plan the itinerary for your next visit. Research
together online the local city guides and relevant tourist attraction web sites. Not only will this help take away the
question of what to do, it will help add even more excitement and anticipation towards your visit.

3. Get In Touch With Their Life
Take the time to get in touch with whom your online love really is. Learning about their home and their history is a great
way to accomplish this. Take turns revealing something about your past or somewhere you like to go. Use local city
guides to find pictures of your favorite places to go and show them to your online love.

4. Start A Countdown Ritual
Each time you are about to meet in person, start some type of countdown ritual. It could be something as simple as
telling each other how many days are left each day. Or, you could send a daily e-mail with how many days that are left
. It is fun to look forward to something, and it helps assure you that it really is going to happen.

5. Surround Them With You
Sight is a wonderful sense, but it isn't fulfilling enough on its own. Assault your online love's senses with other reminders
of you. When you meet you won't feel as foreign to each other if you've already smelled their cologne or perfume.
They'll know your likes and dislikes if you share your favorite music, movies and food. Your partner will know your
mannerisms already if you've exchanged videotapes or make use of a web cam. When people in real life are dating they
have more than just a communication exchange to recall. Giving your partner a chance to recall other senses helps make
you feel entirely more real to them.

Remember to make your time apart an opportunity to fulfill some personal goals and dreams that aren't always as easy to
do once you're living with someone. Surround yourself with friends and family when you're feeling down. And, when all
else fails, know that true love really is worth the wait.
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Re: long distance relationship

Post by mr.banker on Wed Mar 25, 2009 10:20 am

Ideas: Ways To Endure The Long Distance

Ways To Endure The Long Distance
My husband and I were separated for 2 years due to the military, here are a few things we did to pass the time:
1. Spend one night a week as a date, played cards or games over the internet or watched a movie "together" by renting
the same movie, timing it to start at the same time and talking on the phone.

2 . Created a list of things to do together via email and passed it back and worth. We have a list of 200 things now.

3. Read a couple's self-help book over the phone together (each had a copy).

4. Sent flowers, heart shaped pizza, a gorilla with balloons, took out a newspaper ad.

5. My husband snuck 17 note cards with sayings into different parts of my luggage after a weekend together. I kept
finding notes in my shoes, books, etc.

6. Made gifts for each other; I typed out our wedding vows and put them into a frame. He bought me a date book and
marked holidays, anniversaries, dates to be together and random love notes throughout the year. I made a calendar with
pictures of us for the year. He made me a slide show of pictures for my computer set to our songs.

7. Sent lots of cards and e-cards. One day I got 20 cards in the mail from him!

8. Didn't care about the phone bill.

9. Reminded each other how much we were in love.
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