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Murphy's love laws

The amount of love someone feels for you is inversely proportional to how much you love them.

Availability is a function of time. The minute you get interested is the minute they find someone else.

The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings.

Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got.

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

Love and high-school must NEVER go together.

Murphy's computers laws

Program complexity grows until it exceeds the capability of the programmer who must maintain it.

Every non trivial program has at least one bug
Corollary 1 - A sufficient condition for program triviality is that it have no bugs.
Corollary 2 - At least one bug will be observed after the author leaves the organization.

A system software crash will cause hardware to act strangely and the programmers will blame the customer engineer.

Undetectable errors are infinite in variety, in contrast to detectable errors, which by definition are limited.

Make it possible for programmers to write programs in English, and you will find that programmers can not write in English.

If a program actually fits in memory and has enough disk space, it is guaranteed to crash.

Murphy's real stat laws

Tenants have at least one relative get sick or die per month, so ... they will just have to pay you later.

If a tenant attempts to replace the washer in a faucet, plan on replacing the faucet; perhaps all the plumbing in the building.

The insurance inspector always shows up to take photos of the building as you are putting the evicted tenantís possessions on the curb.

If you have any questions about anything, ask your tenants.

That sweet little girl with the baby that you rented to, will start dating the mad motorcycle man from hell, ... and several of his friends, ... the very next week.

Every lost pet will find its way to your rental.

Murphy's teaching laws

The time a teacher takes in explaining is inversely proportional to the information retained by students.

Students who are doing better are credited with working harder. If children start to do poorly, the teacher will be blamed.

If the instructor is late and does not meet the principal, the instructor is late to the faculty meeting.

f the instructor teaches art, the principal will be an ex-coach and will dislike art. If the instructor is a coach, the principal will be an ex-coach who took a winning team to the state.

Laws of Class Scheduling
If the course you wanted most has room for "n" students, you will be the "n+1" to apply.
Class schedules are designed so that every student will waste maximum time between classes.
Corollary: When you are occasionally able to schedule two classes in a row, they will be held in classrooms at opposite ends of the campus.
A prerequisite for a desired course will be offered only during the semester following the desired course.

Murphy's laws of music

Percussionists will consistently lose their music as a concert approaches
Corollary: All parts will be lost at least once, and percussionists will not admit to losing any music until they are caught faking the parts.

On every band trip one important piece of percussion equipment will be left at the school

The largest of the timpani is always four inches wider than the door to the auditorium

f you keep anything long enough you can throw it away
If you throw anything away, you will need it the next day

The chances of a conductor asking a section to play a passage by themselves in the rehearsal, is directly proportional to the difficulty of the passage and how well the people can play it.

Murphy's mothers laws

Mothers only offer advice on two occasions: when you want it and when you don't..

Your mother is the only person that knows more about you than you know about yourself.

Maternal instinct is stronger than any force known except an IRS collection agent.

If you think you have any secrets from your mother, remember who has changed your diapers.

Everything is a good idea till you mother finds out and tells you why it isn't.

No matter how much you eat, you can never get so fat that mother will not offer you more food.

The longer it's been since you cleaned house, the more likely it is that mother will visit.

Mothers always "know." We don't know how - they just do.

descriptionMURPHY'S LAW EmptyRe: MURPHY'S LAW

nyc share saint. keep on sharing Smile

descriptionMURPHY'S LAW EmptyRe: MURPHY'S LAW

nice laws Razz i like them all Very Happy

descriptionMURPHY'S LAW EmptyRe: MURPHY'S LAW

Cool laws Laughing Thanks for sharing


descriptionMURPHY'S LAW EmptyRe: MURPHY'S LAW

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